Dec 28, 201108:26 AMMinivan Diaries
How to Be a Seven-Year-Old During the Holiday Break
1. Play with your new toys.
2. Play with your brother’s new toys, which are better than yours, which is totally unfair.
3. Sneak one of your brother’s toys into your room. When he realizes, launch Sibling Armageddon.
4. Play with your toys during your timeout.
5. Accidentally break a couple of your toys.
7. Inform your parents they don’t love you as much as they love your brother, because they only got you crappy, breakable toys.
8. Read a book during your subsequent timeout.
9. Go to the Smithsonian with your family and grandparents. Complain loudly at having to see the First Ladies’ Dresses. Again.
10. In spite of yourself, gawk at how small Martha Washington was.
11. Go check out Kermit the Frog. Wonder who Archie Bunker was. Wonder who Julia Child was. Find it difficult to tear yourself away from “Invention at Play.” Beg to go to the museum store. Beg some more.
12. Walk out to the Mall to look down at the Capitol, clutching your new, plush Teddy Roosevelt.
13. Back home, call all your friends for a playdate. No one is available.
14. Jump up and down on the trampoline for 15 minutes. Get bored. Go back inside.
15. Annoy your mother so much she lets you watch TV.
16. Have dinner with your family and grandparents.
17. Lie on the couch in the dark, staring at the lit Christmas tree. Smile at Grandma when she walks in the room and sits next you. Put your head on her shoulder.
18. Go to bed. Tuck Teddy Roosevelt in.